I love Erica Komisar’s words from her wonderful book Being There; Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters.
“I often hear working mothers say how great it is for young women to see their mothers in high-powered careers. That may be true, but when it comes to babies and toddlers, they don’t care if their mother has a career; they just care that Mom is there when they need her. When children are older and need their mothers less intensely, seeing their mother balance meaningful work with raising a family can be empowering. But in the first three years, it’s quite a different story.” (p. 190)
She is differentiating between nurturing, protection and guidance; the three essential elements of mothering.
In the early months and years, babies need the first two essential maternal elements for secure attachment to form. Secure attachment comes from early nurturing and protection that requires the emotional and physical presence of a primary caregiver. A mother simply can’t meet these primitive needs when she’s gone.
Take a look at her work, Being There; Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, and watch for the book I have coming from Hay House in July 2021 called Mother Hunger: A Path for Daughters to Reclaim Lost Maternal Love. I posted a story on Instagram to help illustrate the relationship between the two. Follow #MotherHungerBook on Instagram, for quotes from my new book and updates about its release.