Blame is a normal reaction to the grief that is part of Mother Hunger but it can become a cycle that is hard to exit, and it is not an effective remedy for emotional pain.

Instead of Resolutions

Many of us struggle during the holiday season. As such, we’re vulnerable to powerful neurological processes that help us manage stress. Over-eating and over-drinking promote a parasympathetic response (hypo-arousal) that makes us hazy and lets us disconnect from unwanted feelings. Or we lean toward deprivation ~ ketosis provides us increased fuel (hyperarousal) for holiday events …

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Identifying missing maternal guidance is complicated because many adult women feel confused or guilty if they speak about their mothers in unfavorable ways, even in psychotherapy.

Cultural Programming

Sometimes, a mother’s way of guiding her daughter is based in fear and rigid rules, which creates a lonely chasm between them. Given the cultural programming, mothering happens in the context of toxic femininity.