Heart Break

Dear broken hearted,

It is said that time heals all wounds. Time may dull the pain of a broken heart, but it cannot fully heal the wound. Unlike a broken bone, heartbreak has no cast. Most of us recognize that healing a broken bone requires a “time-out” from routine, but life rarely permits anyone the necessary space to tend a broken heart.

This leaves us each with the monumental task of finding and taking time to heal.  Usually, we’re drowning before we find a refuge.

How do you allow yourself room to cry? To rage? To grieve? Do you retreat into food, exercise, work, or sex? Or do you find a trusted friend who will hold you while you mourn?

When we face the death of a loved one, a community mourns with us.  We have a service, a funeral, a meal, a memorial of some nature.  But when a lover betrays us, or we betray ourselves in love, where do we turn?

Perhaps you haven’t felt the comfort of an unbiased witness, someone who sees the best in you without a personal agenda. You haven’t known safety in a relationship.  You’ve been used, shamed, or forgotten.  Perhaps you’ve misused another for your own gain, hiding from the insecurity deep within your soul.

Living in isolation is like treading water without a raft.  You may stay afloat, but daily, it takes such energy and effort that giving up sounds like a relief.

When you no longer want to tread water, it’s time to reach out for help.


With love